I don't
think of myself as a superstitious person but as I was getting
ready for work the morning of Friday, the 13th of July 2001 I
had a moment of uneasiness. It passed in a flash but later in
the day I recalled that I had actually "felt" that this
wasn't going to be just another day at work. Until the day played
out as one of the most frightening of my 19 year career I didn't
give it another thought.
Midsummer in
Las Vegas is a real treat. That is if you are mad dog or an Englishman.
An ambient temperature of 112º, 60 pounds of gear, and a
working fire make Hell seem like Lake Tahoe in May. The mid afternoon
alarm wasn't particularly alarming except for the fact that it
was 112º. I don't know about anywhere else but in Vegas a
"smoke investigation" is one notch above an "odor
investigation." 99.9% of the time it is a Bar-B-Q, a mist
system, a dust devil or a "concerned citizen" on a cell
phone reporting a diesel startup. 99.9% bullshit. That means that
one in a thousand is... not... bullshit. I was feeling the heat.
There was even
a little lighthearted conversation about it en route to the call.
My Captain, Ray Bogle an experienced firefighter and company officer
made the comment, "Really, how often do these turn out to
be anything?" I agreed, not many. But the few that I've been
on included Our lady of Las Vegas Catholic Church
burned
to the ground. A unique spa/motel called Spring Fever
burned
to the ground. And I've heard that the first call from the MGM
Grand came in as a smoke investigation
83 fatalities in
the second deadliest hotel fire in U.S.history. But, of course
those are one in a thousand.
As we casually rolled toward no
big deal a radio update caused ears to prick. "Truck 9, be
advised, P.R.called back and reports that there is smoke coming
from the chimney." In January, even in Las Vegas it gets
plenty cold enough to warrant a fire in the place on occasion
so that update really wouldn't mean much. But in July... The kid
in my usual partner's seat was 24-year-old Craig Cooper a three-year
rookie. I made a move for my helmet and mask indicating that it
was showtime. This was going to be that one in a thousand. Thirty
seconds later we were in front of the house.
It took no scrutiny to ascertain
that we had a working fire in progress. Dirty brown smoke curled
from the chimney and the eves of the single story slab home. Ray
got the full alarm rolling and Craig and I stepped off runnin'
and gunnin'. While we grabbed hose and tools, Captain Bogle barked
out,
" I want a running blower at the door before anyone goes
in." It gets a little iffy when there's no one around to
tell you how long it's been burning. A flashover is a very real
possibility and although rare, a true backdraft on entry, could
cause major casualties. While Barry Stevens, our ship-in Engineer
did his cab work and handled the blower assignment, Craig pulled
the line and I grabbed a couple of pike poles, a Haligan and an
axe. Ray made a quick recon loop around the house, knocked out
the utilities, made sure we had a rear egress and met us back
at the front door.
We were set. Hose and anchor to
the door, flaked out charged and bled, a huge blower fired up
and moving air, lots of air, positioned at the front door, all
tools handy and two coiled firefighters ready for action. (Or
so we thought)
It was the moment of truth. We
anticipated a forceable entry but all it took was a twist of the
knob and the door swung open into that same murky brown smoke.
Not the churning black, ultra dense, ten degrees cooler than fire
kind of smoke, but a weird dirty looking crap that still reduced
your sight to near blindness. No blast of fire, no rolling crest
of orange. Just a patient looking wall of thick mud-colored smoke.
"Let's kick some ass," I said. We stepped into the entryway
and began our advance.
I am a fanatic about staying low
in a fire. I may be as bad about seatbelts but probably not. Get
down! Get down! Get down! Any rookies will testify to that. It
surprises me that I even have to mention it to them. Ask Cal Henry
(he still has the scars). On one of his first fires Lionel Newby
dropped a little quicker and avoided them but now he knows what
I mean by "low". The point being I was nearly standing
up as we moved through the house. Me, the king of the low crawl.
As thick as the smoke was, it was not superheated. Maybe a clue
I should have noticed.
We moved deeper. I almost toppled
ass over teakettle due to the eight-inch drop into a family room.
Where is the goddamned fire? Nearly 40 feet back there was still
no trace of the seat of the fire. Sunlight tried to penetrate
the smoke through a rear window but made it maybe a foot or two.
I was getting concerned about how deep we were. If it all suddenly
cooked off we would have no chance of getting out without serious
injury if at all. My suggestion was to head back toward the front
door and try the hallway to the left (now on our right), as it
probably would lead to the bedrooms. And it would put us closer
to a known exit. We made a loop and backtracked. Where is the
fire?
Just as we reached the hallway,
Coop and I noticed the old familiar glow to our right. What I
could see of it was at floor level and that seemed a little unusual
but I figured I was seeing fire through the lower part of a doorway.
My first thought was that a fire had started in a pantry or closet
and was just now burning through. We were positioning ourselves
to better direct a stream when Coop turned to me and said something
that stopped me in my tracks. It was a phrase that for days afterward
would just pop into my head and the next moments' events would
replay like a tape loop. "IT'S UNDERNEATH US!"
It did not compute. How can a fire
be underneath a concrete slab? Just slightly less than 20 years
of wading into similar fires and I can count on two fingers the
times I have even encountered a basement. It would be like telling
a firefighter in Siberia to watch out for the swamp cooler. I
cocked my head like a curious dog and repeated Coop's words in
question form, "underneath us?" In the split second
between those words and my understanding of what he meant, the
world dropped from beneath our feet.
Firefighter Craig Cooper was gone.
He seemed to have been snatched into an underground den of nothing
but fire and smoke. In my mind the suddenness of it still seems
exaggerated. There was no spongy feeling, no sagging or tilting.
No clues, no warning. It was a high-speed express elevator straight
to oblivion. But for less than a foot of distance we both would
have gone down. When Craig took out the first five stairs there
was nothing to stop me from doing down too. Except the railing.
With a desperate stab I reached out and caught the section of
railing that ran from the front door to the top of the stairs.
It was reflex. The smoke was still too thick to see anything.
It was reflex and luck. It was one of those forever moments. I
quickly got my other hand on the flimsy railing. I pulled myself
back up to floor level and looked down in disbelief. He was gone.
Craig had just become another heartbreaking statistic. Another
LODD. (Line Of Duty Death) God, no! This can't be happening. But
he was gone. There was only the pulsing black-orange mass of a
Hell-born creature
feeding.
I started to reach for my radio
since I would have to be the one to call a May Day. But the blower
in the doorway was much too loud and besides our Captain was only
a short distance away. So I bolted for the door. When I broke
into the daylight Ray was holding his radio to his ear completely
unaware of what had just happened. If we had both fallen through
the floor long minutes would have gone by before the he would
have known anything was wrong. As far as Ray knew we were simply
on a routine house fire and would shortly announce a knockdown.
There's no way I could sound normal.
Yelling and running I approached Ray shouting, "He fell through
a hole. Coop just dropped through the floor! Jesus Christ, he
fell through the stairs!" Now Ray did the curious dog thing.
"What? What hole?" I knew that, like myself, he was
hit broadside by the fact that this was not your typical Las Vegas
house. In Vegas you just don't think basements. (Note: I sure
as hell do now, however.) Even Captain Bogle, a seventeen-year
veteran fire captain had missed it. I blurted out, "It's
a basement fire! Coop fell into a basement fire!"
According to our Battalion Chief,
Kenny Ong, it was at this point that Ray's voice went up an octave
as he asked for an ETA on the dispatch he had requested earlier
and announced that he had a firefighter down. Having delivered
the message and still being the only other suited up firefighter
on the scene I ran back inside hoping and praying as I ran.
Although less than a minute had
gone by it seemed like ten. I crawled to the edge of the hole
making sure the remaining floor was strong enough to support me.
The blower had moved enough of the smoke that I could see a little
deeper into the dark, glowing opening. My heart was beating so
hard my eyes felt bloodshot. What was Coop going through? By myself
with no special gear there simply wasn't much I could do. In a
way I felt like I should be down there with him but jumping in
was not an option. Looking over the edge something caught my eye.
It was a light, his helmet light. It moved from side to side and
as much as I fought it the thought came to me that I was seeing
him writhing in horrible dying side-to-side agony. For a very
brief moment I thought, please God. Don't let him suffer. Take
him now. Let him die now! Hurry. As awful as it sounds those really
were pleas for mercy. So this is what it feels like to lose your
partner.
A thousand thoughts fought each other. Son-of-a-bitch, there was
no warning!
This can't be real. I'm glad I didn't know him better. I've seen
men die. I've watched the last bubbling breath from the lips of
a gunshot victim. I've heard the rattling in the chest of a CHF
patient as they rattled off into eternity. I held my brother's
hand as he finally exhaled for the last time. My mother and I
pressed our hands to his chest until we could no longer feel his
heart beat. Death isn't new to a firefighter of twenty years.
But the death of a partner
? A thousand thoughts. This can't
be real. God help me, I'm glad it's not me down there. What did
we do wrong? Why didn't we notice there was a basement? What will
we tell his family? This can't be real. Where is everybody else?
God, take him now. It's underneath us! IT'S UNDERNEATH US!
Then a burst pipe squirted water
across my mask. It pushed my head back. Damn! That's a heavy stream
of water. It moved away for no reason at all and then came back
and hit me again. Some part of my mind was so convinced that Coop
was gone that I was ignoring the evidence. The third blast across
my mask and all of the defenses were taken with it. Burst pipe
my foot!! It was Coop. Coop's light was movin' because Coop was
movin' and Coop was movin' because he was fightin' the freakin'
demon!! The fire fightin' fool had the nozzle and was ten feet
below me kickin' the fire's ass.
I slid further along so I could
be extra sure. By God he was down there all right, sure as the
Pope wears a big hat. He was down there, alive and fightin' that
bitchin' widow-maker fire for all he was worth!! Good Lord I could
have kissed the son-of-a-gun!! (not on the lips) I was glad I
was crawling cause my knees felt too weak to hold me up. Man,
I don't need this shit. My nerves can't take it. Sitting back
on my heels I just hung my head and consciously slowed my breathing.
The adrenaline drained from my pores and I grinned a weak smile
as another jet of water shot out of the hole.
Just then, the units from the full
dispatch arrived. Engine 42, Engine 9, Rescue 9, Battalion 4,
Rehab 1, and our PIO arrived almost simultaneously. I had to know
how Craig was so I decided to join him down below.
The blower had moved a lot of smoke
and I could now see that the remaining two-thirds of the stairway
were good to go and visibility below that was acceptable. To be
as sure as I could I checked them with a pike pole and decided
that it was solid enough. I leaped from sitting on the floor with
my legs dangling into the breach and dropped perfectly on the
landing. Coop hadn't heard me because he was a little startled
when I tapped his shoulder.
"Damn," he said, looking
none the less for wear. He was tossing some furniture and hitting
spot fires. He looks at me and asks, "Where did you come
from?" Where did I come from? Now there was a true Yuk. I,
my good man, just jumped over the hole you created and risked
life and limb just to make sure you weren't an illusion. In fact
I was here all along. You, on the other hand, were roasted alive
and died a ghastly, hideous, gyrating death while my life flashed
in front of my eyes. You had an unfair advantage in the game of
freak-out. You knew you were alive. I knew you were dead. But
rather than get into all of that, I just said, "After you
checked it out and made sure it was safe, I just figured you could
use a little help. By the way, you've still got a little fire
in the magazine rack under the table."
Within minutes there were another
ten guys in the basement bumping into each other, and just checking
out the scene of the almost tragedy. Amazing how fast news like
that travels. We climbed out on a 14-foot ladder and immediately
three or four guys jumped on us like an Indy pit crew and stripped
off out gear. I was a little pink but Craig was lobster pink.
Our "pit crew" threw cool, wet towels on the back of
our necks and handed us bottles of water. I gave Coop a, "glad
you're alive, but man don't you ever scare the poo out of me like
that again" hug. It was when he lifted his arms to return
the hug, that myself and the six or seven guys next to us saw
the waxy looking flesh hanging from both of his wrists. Brother
Craig had taken a pretty good shot of heat and not so much as
a whimper. The medics wrapped him up and within a few minutes
he was kicked back on the bed in Rescue 9 and on his way to University
Medical Center.
I guess it's just human nature
to analyze, and re-analyze and re-analyze again. For a long time
I played it over and over wondering what I could have or should
have done differently. If Craig hadn't made it, rational thinking
would have been slow in returning. It didn't take much to imagine
how I would have been merciless on myself, right or not. And tragedy
was so close. I could see all of the possibilities. If he had
snagged a nail or wire on the way down and become inverted. Landing
on the back of your head from nine or ten feet could easily have
knocked him out cold or jarred his mask off. Probably not survivable.
Or landed on something that tipped or flipped losing the line.
Or not having it when he went through. Not survivable. I never
knew there could be so many voices and images in my head at once.
We were at the scene for another
hour and a half; overhauling and helping a family member secure
the property. A few times when I found myself close to the same
spot, as I was when Craig dropped through I heard an echo of his
voice saying, "It's underneath us." It wasn't the last
time. For days and for no apparent reason I would hear those words
again and a QuickTime movie would play in my head. That helpless
feeling of loss would rise again like bile as if to remind me
that life is fleeting. It's been months now and I finally stopped
hearing that voice.
The sun was getting low and as
we broke up the party and headed back to our respective stations
I looked back at the house that had come so close to being the
one. For some reason, I wanted to keep some part of that moment.
Not the pain, not the sadness or the sheer terror. I think I wanted
to keep the humility. I set the timer on my camera and took a
photo of one badly shaken, been to the bottom of the well, firefighter.
When you roll up on a fully involved
gasoline tanker, or flames blowing out of the fourth floor of
an old, wood apartment building, or the eightieth floor of a high-rise,
you know you could get hurt or killed. But when a single story,
nothin' shakin', nickle-dime do it all the time, house fire comes
within a hair's breadth of taking the lives of two firefighters
it will make you humble. And that's the kind of humility that
will keep you alive.
© Allan Albaitis
and FireArt Oct. 2001